Learning How To Overcome Self-Sabotage

It's easy to overlook just how powerful our subconscious minds are. We often don’t notice how our actions—or lack of them—are shaping our lives. We may complain that things never go our way, that we’re unlucky, or that we can’t achieve success. But the truth is, we're actually creating our own situations through subconscious self-sabotage. To overcome this, we need to start by using our conscious awareness to examine our emotions and fears and understand how they influence our actions. Once we identify the root cause of harmful behavior, we can take steps to prevent it from happening again.

What actually happens when we sabotage ourselves?

Subconsciously, we might be afraid of a certain outcome, even if we say we want it. For example, consider someone trying to lose weight. Many people have tried countless diets and still can't lose the weight or keep it off. They criticize themselves, push themselves harder, and try even more. But what's going on beneath the surface? Do they really want to lose the weight? They may say they do, but what if their extra weight gives them a sense of safety and protection in an uncertain world? What if they feel the need to hide or cover up? Then, losing weight becomes something scary and threatening. So they might sabotage their diet by sneaking food or skipping exercise, promising themselves they'll try harder tomorrow.

Some people might also be afraid of something as simple as starting a new job.

Did you know that many people don’t show up for job interviews, even for great opportunities? Let’s look at another example: a stay-at-home mom who wants to go back to work to support her family. What she really wants is to stay home with her kids, but she feels like she has to get a job. So instead of applying for the perfect job, she might apply for positions she's not qualified for or jobs that don't fit her family's schedule, so she can turn them down if they are offered. Subconsciously, this is her way of making sure she doesn't have to leave home, and she can say she "tried" to get a job.

Those who sabotage themselves might also fear how others will react to them if they achieve their goals.

They might not believe they're worthy of success, so they act in ways that lead to failure.

These harmful actions are done without us realizing it, so even the people doing the sabotage may think they know what they want.

Any doubt, any fear, any uncertainty will be used to make sure the outcome doesn't happen.

Does this sound like you?

Have you sabotaged yourself before? Are you still doing it now? Are you struggling to move forward with your goals, no matter how hard you try?

The good news is that we can overcome self-sabotage.

The most important step in stopping this behavior is to recognize it's happening. We must become more aware of our thoughts, emotions, and actions.

If you've been struggling with a particular goal and things aren't working out, take a look at the setbacks you've faced.

Could any of these obstacles have been avoided by making better choices? If there are a lot of obstacles to one goal, you may be sabotaging yourself.

A great way to connect with your subconscious is through quiet meditation.

Ask yourself what you're afraid of. What fears or uncertainties do you have? What makes you uncomfortable about your goal? Why would you try to stop yourself? Writing down these questions and answers can also help, because writing can help you connect with your inner self. It may take time and practice, but exploring these thoughts can really help you escape the cycle of self-sabotage.

When we finally understand that we are in control of our own success, we are free from all limitations.

By gaining clarity about what we want and being aware of possible obstacles, we can stop self-sabotage and focus our energy on pursuing new goals that we will fully support. One day, we'll look back and realize that instead of being our own worst enemy, we've become our best supporter.

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